Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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