it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
