This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize
