Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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