how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I touched a dick in church today
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
