i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
