got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
