Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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