And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
