so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She's just so happy...and so naked.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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