great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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