he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
