Can Purell be used as lube?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Your cock deserves a montage
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize