I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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