Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
