went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
3 2 1 whiskey
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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