normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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