I'm lost and stupid without you.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
