Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
