remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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