puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Randomize
