They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
