is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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