these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
