im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
