what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i think i just lost a toe
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
