He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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