Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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