you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
