dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
