margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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