I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
