My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
