please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
