dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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