just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
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