OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
