her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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