Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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