I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i need some magic done to my vagina
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
