Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
