Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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