Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
