hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
