My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
