I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
