i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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