if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
