i barfeds in our rink
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize