what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you didnt know i had herpes?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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