The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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