pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You took a bar mat shot.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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