If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
