The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'd cum for enchiladas.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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