This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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