maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
