God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize