Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
