dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
